I often have a feeling of guilt when I start practicing, writing tunes, etc. Basically anytime I'm doing something music related at home. There's this nagging feeling that I need to put down the guitar to be around my kids or to help my wife with something even though I do that throughout the day anyways.
I continue to remind myself that it is important for me to continuously work on my craft, seeing that my whole career is wrapped around my ability to execute on my instrument. And although I am completely aware of this fact, I still feel the pull of my surroundings.
Let me interject by saying that my wife, currently on maternity leave, has not pressured me into putting the guitar down. She constantly tells me that I need to take the time to "just do it"!
Because I have this constant feeling my practice becomes hindered, which means I perform below my optimal ability. This creates a huge feeling of guilt, and it is at this point that I begin the inner dialogue.
"Am I just making excuses?"
"Putting in time on the guitar is a necessity to provide for my family."
"You're extremely focused on music and not enough on your family!"
"I'm not putting in enough time to reach my musical potential, therefore I'm pulling my fellow bandmates down."
Like I've said before, there are a number of to-do's that I work on as a husband, father, and musician/educator just like many others pursuing this career. In no way do I believe that these feelings are unique to me, but rather, I question whether these feelings of guilt are legitimate or just excuses.
