There are times in the journey where you may find yourself in a state of maintenance. This is exactly where I currently reside. Of course there are parts of my practice that are designed to push my current capabilities, but the overarching vibe is one of maintaining.
You could say that with the current state of my personal life, keeping up with a four year old, expecting a new addition to the family at any point, has become the priority. Basically, the husband and dad role has taken over.
This is not the first or the last time this will happen. During these times I do feel a sense of inadequacy and a sense of failure as a musician. Because music is such an integral part of my life, any lack of pushing forward registers as giving up. This creates an ongoing internal conflict that generates self doubt and negative self dialogue.
What I continuously remind myself of is the importance of being a husband and father, and though music has become my career and my way to communicate to others, I have to accept that there are stages of life that demand my focus in different ways. This definitely doesn't make me a failure. I'm still pushing forward, maybe not at the pace I would like, but the journey continues!
