Anything dealing with science was exciting to me. I would memorize the periodic table of elements years before I needed to and would often read the Cliffs Notes book on chemistry. I would imagine the possible contributions that I would make throughout my years as a chemist. When I discovered there was a field of space biochemistry my interest were peaked even more. Although, studying genetics was very intriguing as well. After all, I had been keeping up with the developments of cloning in the late 90's and found the study of telomeres very fascinating.
At the age of 15 something clicked. Although I had been very interested in science, I could no longer see myself pursuing such a career. My interest turned to writing, especially the writings of Stephen King and H.P. Lovecraft. I began writing everyday and studying the books I was reading as opposed to reading for fun (I considered analyzing fun!). I worked to write in an 19th century style through immersion.
What I had discovered is that I could more fully express myself through creative endeavors.
Around the same time I had began playing guitar. Let me rephrase, obsessively began playing guitar. I decided this was it! Combine writing and music and I'll be set.
Ironically, the music that caught my attention most (besides Metallica, Megadeth, Black Label Society, etc.) was instrumental. So what did I do? I let go of the idea of being a songwriter in terms of lyrics and focused on using the guitar as my voice.
Of course I still write (outside of the blog). I find in my case that it is a great way to express ideas and fully realize them. As far as science? I still have a great interest, but I couldn't imagine not having the guitar/music around me constantly. Music was my go to when relationships ended, when close family members passed, and when the pain of dealing with the turmoils of my teenage years seemed overwhelming. Music was also there when those most memorable moments were lived as well.
Everyday I would put my headphones on and imagined that I was in the band with my favorite artists and that nothing could get in my way. A great deal of anger and tears were shed during those times. Moments of elation also took over. It is this combination that has built the underpinning of who I've become.
"We're just the toys in the hands of another..." -Metallica, Fixxxer
